BRING IT ON!!

Today I was desperate to get something interesting to deal with. Tuesday dayshift always seems to be a struggle, it’s quite a quick turn around from the weekend nights and the old body clock seems to always kick me in the nuts on the Tuesday.

Nothing. Nothing at all of any interest. To make things worse everyone needed an ambulance and was very nice to deal with. Couldn’t even get angry at the system or hate a patient, even for a wee while.

Hopefully tomorrow someone will piss me of and I can enjoy the day. Bit board today.

UNCONCIOUS, UNKNOWN PROBLEM.

What can we do? In the last four year I have been to one person who was genuinely unconscious; he was a technician who worked at a neighbouring station and was seriously ill.

Now, if you have a GCS of 8 or below you are in a coma; I accept this as being unconscious/unwell. In fact if your GCS is, seriously, below 12 you get quite a lot of my attention and a very quick trip to hospital. Just because you’re too pissed to walk doesn’t interest me. Pretending to of taken an overdose does not either.

Why do you think I’ll find this interesting? Why do your friends? Because you have spent 10 hours drinking vodka and red bull I wont find you any more interesting than I would otherwise. The six co-codamol you’ve taken over the last 8 hours don’t really interest me either!

I get that the general public don’t understand that to be unconscious your, well, unconscious. Not responding to anything. Really out of it; I mean really out of it.

Why can’t you take your pissed friend home? Why can’t you behave like a friend and look after your mates? Why do you think I’ll care when you don’t?

Bunch of wankers. If my mates acted like most of the “you” out there I wouldn’t talk to them any more!

WHAT STRANGER THING??

The first job was to a 3 YOM who had pulled a pot of hot oil onto himself. He was very lucky. About 3% burns to his arm and similar to his face. All looked pretty superficial and he’s going to be ok but I must say that jobs like this get my bowels moving. Always worry about kids in situations where things could deteriorate.

I also got to see my first dislocated patella reduced. Seen many arms and ankles etc but never a knee. The pissed 14 year old had fallen and oops, knee cap round the side of the leg. It was actually really simple. You straighten the leg and it just slides into place. Very interesting to see and something I learnt, always good.

Couple of assaults, a spurious OD and an old dear that woke her daughter up coughing. There was at least one other job but, honestly, I can’t remember what it was; oh there was a 73 YOF with the flu. That’s about it though.

Another Saturday night over and more lives saved. Job done. Not even any prats to contend with although I have a feeling that one of the assaults probably got what was coming but, who am I to judge.

SCARED.

Friday night is always busy. Lots of drunks to contend with. Assaults, falls and the usual amount of sick Grannies. I quite like them really as you tend to know what your up against.

Not last night though. It was strangely quiet. The weather was wilde and, I guess, people had spent their cash over Christmas but I don’t trust nights like that. They unsettle me.

Tonight we’ll pay.

HUMOUR

A man walks into his son’s room and says, “ I don’t mean to embarrass you but if you don’t stop masturbating you’ll go blind.”

The son says, “Dad; I’m over here.”

IT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN TO A ..................

NeeNaw has posted about a couple of incidents at control where the callers were obviously formed from the excess scrotal skin of an elderly, kilt-wearing highlander.

For a while now I have been saving up a couple of stories; this sounds like the time.

We all find it amazing that people, with no debilitating illness, are prepared to wait for 2 hours on an ambulance. Usually when they do the mother, son, husband etc. will jump in their car and follow you to the hospital. Now, this pisses me off because even if they have not got the common sense to realise that an ambulance is not a fun ride, and that we have serious things to do, their GP should.

Last shift, on Monday, we got a call from a GP to a 49 YOM with chest pain. We were, literally, as far away as it is possible to get without leaving the region. Never the less we got there, after some F’ing and Blinding at other road users, within 17 minutes. It was a frightening drive really although it felt like fun at the time.

Knock, Knock – no reply. Shout through the letterbox – not a sound. No one visible through the windows. This is the point that we either kick the door in or call the Police to do it for us. After hearing all the fuss a neighbour appeared asking if we were looking for Mr Y. Yip, knocked on his door and am about to start kicking; that would be Mr Y were looking for. Oh, says she, he left with his wife about 20 minutes ago. Fuck, fuck, fucker, tit, cock!!

Good on him for doing this, although really in this situation an ambulance was required and he’d have been better waiting for us. But couldn’t he of let someone know, even the GP who was calling as he got into the family saloon. This irked me as much as the follow up people.

Should have kicked the door in anyway.

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A woman was with her mum for 2 hours waiting for transportation to Hospital A. She had been booked in here by her GP as she has ongoing problems and is receiving treatment here. Getting a bit fed up with this she called Hospital A, allegedly, who, allegedly, informed her just to call 999.

Now this was all crap as the hospital staff don’t do this (although see next post). Up we turn to a 999 and get the story. Fall 2 weeks ago and a sore back. Lovely old dear but her daughter obviously did not realise that ambulance crews come with a fully working “load of bollocks o’meter”.

Yes, yes they told you to call 999, Hmmm, strange that because we can’t take you to Hospital A. No honestly; it just does not accept emergency calls any more (this is true – just to clarify); we will need to go to Hospital B on the other side of the globe. Ah, yes its very busy but the original transport request has been cancelled so you’d go back to the bottom of the list and the weight will be about 4 hours.

Off we go. Sorry about that dinner you’re going to miss tonight. Ah, you heard the nurse say that there’s a six-hour wait. What a fucking shame.

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Wooo Weeee Wooo “ fucking idiot, out the way”!! Weeeeee Weeeeee “ pull over, cock!” Woooo Woooo Woooo. Were there. Bag and O2 up the steps, where is he? Watching TV. What’s the problem? And I quote, “ he’s been of colour for the last three months, the doctor took some bloods yesterday and booked him in to the hospital.”

I must have missed something. “So, what’s changed that led you to call 999?”

“Nothing, the person on the phone said they could arrange transport through the bed bureau but it would be faster to call an emergency ambulance.” The reply came.

I looked at her like she was beneath contempt. She noticed and had the decency to blush. Most don’t.

I tried to find out more details about the source of the suggestion, as I have never come across this before. Also it sounded like the bollocks of all bollocks. She wasn’t able to provide much more info and she seemed to be genuine enough. I reported it to the Duty Officer who was equally baffled and followed it up.

It transpired that the GP had to get home for his salad so left it to a secretary to organise transportation. This was her solution, an NHS employee with no medical training what so ever, saying that according to the doctors notes she thought the situation was life threatening. It was her that advised that it would be quicker to call an emergency ambulance. Stupid, stupid, cow. I hope she looses her job. I really do.

If it was her job at all, and not the GP’s, she should have done what she was told.

EDUCATION.

Just a thought.

Wouldn’t it be cool if school kids got to read some of the Blogs from people in the Emergency Services. We all know that politicians should, and some do but pay no attention. School kids would get the knowledge of what we do and hopefully learn not to call when little toe is stubbed.

Something needs to be done about the level of unnecessary calls; and I hate to suggest that teachers need something else to worry about but a little project or something would do it. I’m sure that there must be something in schools; I don’t have kids, relating to the evils of alcohol, knife carrying, drugs etc. It could be fitted in with this.