SHAME.

I’ve been off work for the last few days, not back until Friday. Loving it. It’s snowing at the moment, which is nice. I like winter to look like winter and find the 8 months of autumn we now get depressing.

Work-wise it’s all been pretty normal stuff. I ranted about alcoholic **here** but met a man the other day who falls outside the general profile.

This guy is in his late 20’s and has been an alcoholic for a number of years. I’ve seen him before, lots, but not for a while and had forgotten all about him. Not seen him for about ten months.

The circumstances of the call were not unusual; alcoholic feeling suicidal. It’s the man that is unusual. He is not one of these types that look to justify their addiction or lay the blame for it at someone else’s door. He knows he’s had all the (limited) help available and that he has not followed through on this.

In short he knows he’s an alcy’ because he drinks too much and that that’s his choice. What gets me is that with all this, he does not feel sorry for himself; he hates himself. You can see the shame he feels in his eyes and body movements. He avoids eye contact whenever possible and wrings his hands. He knows he has a problem and has accepted responsibility for this though so that’s a start I guess.

In an unusual moment of compassion I feel sorry for this bloke. I hope things work out for him.